CHILD MARRIAGE
Noor Ul Tehseen; TESOL, BS English Linguistics and Literature
What if I tell you around the world, a girl under 15-year-old gets married every 7 seconds – awful, isn’t it? But in this era, girls under 15 are mostly forced to marry their rapists. I know that sounds so tragic; not only to read but to imagine also. But you might not know that 96% of the countries’ laws specify the Child Marriage is legal; only these six countries: Equatorial Guinea, Gambia, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, South Sudan and Somalia, where Child Marriage is illegal as according to the Pew Research Centre. Not only that, even in most of the states, parents can force their underage pregnant daughter to get married even if she has been raped. The highest rates of Child Marriage are seen in Niger located in Northern Africa which is bordered by Algeria and Libya to the north. In Syria, tightly refugee mothers are often afraid of their daughters’ safety, rights and responsibilities and because of that they marry their daughters even before they are ready. A mother once said, “I will get my daughter married, even though she is still a child, yet it is better for her to get raped by a soldier.” Guess what? Desperate mothers are so scared about their daughters’ rights, safety and responsibilities that they are forced by their emotions to get their daughters married in their very young age just to save them from getting raped. Which is why, the rate of Child Marriage is increasing in the world rapidly.
Child Marriage is defined as the marriage of both or one of the spouses under the age of eighteen which makes them get away from their childhood joys and place them at the high risk of violence, exploitation and abuse. Mostly girls are affected at the large extent rate. Every year, 12 million underage 18 girls get married. Most of them are forced to marry a ripe-aged dude, rapist, or because their parents decide; while some of them are married because of being in so-called intense love feeling with the person they hold for. I know, most of the people will start criticizing that Child Marriage has its own benefits, advantages or whatsoever; but let’s not ignore the terrible outcomes and disadvantages of this Child Marriage which is way more than the advantages people do speak for. Most of the parents start crying, because they can’t even save their daughters because of poverty. How to give dowry? From where to bring Bride’s Marriage ceremony? Expense for cultural traditions? Then social life starts pressurizing, and everything turns down to illiteracy… and the most disgusting part is that then those Child Marriage couple will have to earn for them in the undeveloped countries. How would they survive? Question after every other question. Dr. Babtunde Osotimehin once said, “Choosing when and whom to marry is one of the life’s most important decisions to take, and Child Marriage denies millions of girls this choice every year.”
There are different minimum ages for both of boys and girls to get married. The age of getting married in Pakistan for girls is 16 years old, on the other hands, boys can get married when they reach at the age of 18. In Sudan, for girl it’s is 10 years old minimum which is required or to be at the age of puberty, while the boy needs to be at the age of 15 or hit their puberty. In Mali, girls are said to be married at the age of 16, while the boys are to be married at the age of 18. In Alabama and Utah, a girl is forced to marry at the age of 14. Nebraska and Oregon require 17 years for a girl to get married. In Yemen, a girl is said to get married at the age of 15 to 18. We can also not forget about the religious and social customs in which one is dwelling. Sometimes, those religions’ interpretations are misunderstood and then become the cause to get married a girl early. In most of the religions, it’s said that to get the women married; which most of the people misunderstand and marry the girl before she reaches her puberty. Most of the families can’t afford to educate their children and thus, they end-up getting them married. Not to mention that some of the parents sell their daughters and sons to the grand lords and ladies for just to get money. But the question is what makes them do that? Why to sell own children to someone you don’t know well? Just to get money? Is it money which can be greater than such a parent-child relationship? Is it because of illiteracy or is it something that happens because of poverty? Guess what, this has caused so much meandering situation in every country which is why this discussion is seemed to be one of the hottest topics of the current situation.
Fraidy Reiss who is the founder of Unchained at Last, says, “It is so surprising to know how persuasive a problem Child Marriage is in America, we hadn’t seen the last retrieved marriage license data across the United States of America, and discovered that in just a decade – from 2000 to 2010, an estimated amount of two hundred and forty-eight thousand children were married in the United States of America as young as 12 years old, possibly even younger. And almost all of them were girls married to adult men.” She further said, “Unfortunately, this is just shocking in many states, marriage is an exception under statutory rape laws. And so, what happens is in these states a marriage license is given to an adult to marry a child under the age of consent to have sex or not allowed to consent to sex with somebody that spouses this. In essence again at a free jail card, we are legalizing rape.”
We also can’t forget the story of Sherry Johnson, a 58-year-old woman form Florida who was raped repeatedly by two church leaders when she was just a kid of eight years old, and therefore, by the age of ten she got pregnant. She herself proclaimed to be married to her rapist at the age of eleven. Her mom said that she had to marry him. And I was like, marry him? I don’t know what marriage is?” There is an awful phrase, “Marry your rapists loopholes exist.” It is just because the guy who raped a girl, can’t understand her true emotions and feelings. What it could be if not child abuse? Because by getting married to the children is to only exploit and abuse their rights they have. This notion that a pregnant teenage girl should be punished or shamed or has no choice but to marry even if she is raped, all she has to do is to all these phenomena whether she likes it or not. However, those relationships sound more like abusive rather than marital.
Nadia Murad, a girl who was forced by her family to get married at the age of 9 to a guy who was 28 years old. She was told nothing about marriage responsibilities and all the conditions, and why she would be? She was only at the age of 9. The only thing she was told was to just have some kisses and sleep with a new guy; and she understood it as marriage. She herself shared her story to let the world know what happens when a girl gets married before her puberty. All I share in short that she had been shouting no, but there was none to listen her no, not even to concern; while her husband who promised her to be with her for her entire life and to keep her safe and sound, she remembered those words and all of those words felt like empty shells. By the time, when she was 13 years old, she had two children. She has now finally managed to escape her marriage and is now settled in England; yet she is horrified about the girls living in Iraq. She still believes that these things are still so common in Iraq and girls are the open target of it.
In the nutshell, all we can understand is this Child Marriage may have several advantages, yet its advantages are outnumbered by its disadvantages. Wrecking one’s home, plans, ideas, aims, dreams, rights, responsibilities and above all safety is something one should always be afraid of. Getting marriage before the puberty of any of the spouses will give nothing but deepest pains and scars all around. It is something which should not be allowed by any of the countries’ laws and orders. The utmost important thing that should be informed to all the people is to get yourself educated, get your daughters educated, get your family educated, get your society educated and build up in everyone’s mind that marrying early enough won’t do anything good, instead it will cause harms beyond predictions. Nowadays, it’s very much common; but we still can control it together; we still can put this down and save our daughters and sisters once and for all.
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